Body Mod = Happiness?

It has been one week since I got my ears stretched, and what a week it has been!

I had my performance review at work. This is usually something that is incredibly stressful; trying to sell yourself, talking one-on-one with your manager about everything good and bad you have done all year; being judged on something you had to work hours on... all so you can earn your yearly bonus.
Normally, this would have me sweating bullets and having a severe anxiety attack - seriously, I DO NOT do well in this type of situation. But, not only did I do a great job on my review, I was not at all anxious about the whole thing. At least not beyond my usual awkward fidgeting and laughing uncomfortably that I get with ALL of my human interactions.

Nearly everyone else on my team this week has seemed horribly stressed, including someone I work pretty closely with. Instead of letting it affect me, like I usually do, I spent my time trying to cheer her up and give her the positive energy she needed, instead of adding to the stress.

Chris has been hanging out with friends, either here or out somewhere, nearly every day this week. This usually seems to hover over me like some kind of dark cloud and would give me major anxiety. While I found myself getting a little bored not being able to catch up on the youtube videos we always watch together, there was no anxiety.

Hell, I even have my period this week!! (TMI, sorry. I have no filter. Wait, not sorry! THIS IS MY BLOG. YOU CAN'T CENSOR ME!!!!!)

Yet, I have been full of general happiness. I have had more of a permanent smile on my face instead of my resting bitch face of the norm.
I went shopping and bought five shirts (three of which were just boring old t-shirts - BUT I LOVE THEM) and a makeup brush yesterday and I was in the best mood for the whole night!
And I have been acting like a silly little git!

I think I'm SO clever

And today, when Chris asked me if I wanted anything from Safeway, my immediate and enthusiastic reply was 'BERF JERKER". I actually said it that way, unintentionally too. I've been such a weirdo.I will not be bothered to ask for a pardon on my enthusiasm, beef jerky is fucking fantastic.

I feel like my old self.
And for over a year I have been talking to Chris that maybe I should go to my doctor about getting checked out/get meds for depression.

I hope that this feeling lasts. It's amazing. I will not miss the miserable shit I have been for the past like two years if she went away forever.

The funny thing is that it's been five years since my last piercing and two years since my last tattoo.
Probably a coincidence... but maybe when I'm not getting evenly spread out body modifications, it makes me feel like I'm not myself. Something I really need to think about.


Well, I have gone on long enough for today...


TOODLES!