I Don't Know How to Handle This...

I have been quiet again... It's been a rough month.

I was horribly sick at the beginning of the month. Strep throat, ear infection, and a sinus infection. It was just a miserable time, made more miserable by the awful steroids I was given for the infections. My vision is still recovering from the damn stuff, everything far away is very fuzzy - not fun!

Then, about a week ago, we got some scary news about someone who I have become very close with over the last five and half years, and even lived with for nearly two years... a few years back her cancer came back and she has been fighting it pretty hard. Unfortunately, the rest of her body is falling apart just as hard from things unrelated.

I don't have a lot of experience with death.
When I was seven I had a great grandmother pass away, but I hardly knew the woman. And when I was sixteen my dad passed away very unexpectedly from pulmonary artery disease.
That's it.
(Not to say that all death isn't awful and traumatizing... I consider myself lucky to have experienced so little in my life)

I have never had to hear "They have X amount of time".
She may be an older woman, and we may have been expecting things to take a turn for the worst for a while now... but to actually hear it?
I am really struggling with it right now.

I don't know how to react, but from my past experience with my father I know that I have to talk about it. I can't go through the horrible stress and depression I went through for two years after he passed away, all because I kept everything bottled up inside.
I won't do that to myself again. I won't do that to the people I love again.

I don't know what to say... but I won't stop talking.
I will get through this, and I will be there for her and love her, and cherish every moment.
We know we have the time, I won't let it go to waste.

Oops! Bye, February!

Well, February had a bunch of stuff happen and I didn't stop to write about any of it.
Why did I start this in the first place if I forget to write about the interesting things?!



Most exciting thing:
I get to be a bridesmaid for my best friend!!
So happy that my best friend is getting married to get perfect match, and also happy that she has asked me to be a part of that day! 2016 is going to be a happy year!

I was able to use work points and money from selling some old massage equipment to by myself an iPad mini! I'm pretty happy about it, I got it mostly for reading, I can't wait to read my first download: Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman


Everything else that has happened really hasn't been that exciting...

Chris' best friend of like seven years moved back to BC. We are happy that he is going to do something that makes him happy, but it is always sad to see people go.

Chris and I went to the Tim Horton's Brier... it was interesting to see curling for the first time.

And Chris and I caught some horrendous colds, of which I am still getting over.
Today is the second day in a row that I am staying home from work. It went from horrible coughing that kept me up all night and made me miserable for a couple days, to now having the worst sinus congestion I have ever felt. It feels like I've been punched in the nose...

I feel like shit for missing work and making my team members have an extra work load, but I would not be able to work very well in the state that I've been in... plus, I would probably just make everyone sick!

So, that is my not very exciting update of February.