I Don't Know How to Handle This...

I have been quiet again... It's been a rough month.

I was horribly sick at the beginning of the month. Strep throat, ear infection, and a sinus infection. It was just a miserable time, made more miserable by the awful steroids I was given for the infections. My vision is still recovering from the damn stuff, everything far away is very fuzzy - not fun!

Then, about a week ago, we got some scary news about someone who I have become very close with over the last five and half years, and even lived with for nearly two years... a few years back her cancer came back and she has been fighting it pretty hard. Unfortunately, the rest of her body is falling apart just as hard from things unrelated.

I don't have a lot of experience with death.
When I was seven I had a great grandmother pass away, but I hardly knew the woman. And when I was sixteen my dad passed away very unexpectedly from pulmonary artery disease.
That's it.
(Not to say that all death isn't awful and traumatizing... I consider myself lucky to have experienced so little in my life)

I have never had to hear "They have X amount of time".
She may be an older woman, and we may have been expecting things to take a turn for the worst for a while now... but to actually hear it?
I am really struggling with it right now.

I don't know how to react, but from my past experience with my father I know that I have to talk about it. I can't go through the horrible stress and depression I went through for two years after he passed away, all because I kept everything bottled up inside.
I won't do that to myself again. I won't do that to the people I love again.

I don't know what to say... but I won't stop talking.
I will get through this, and I will be there for her and love her, and cherish every moment.
We know we have the time, I won't let it go to waste.